Today has not been my best day ever. >:(

Holidays are normally different and difficult with my family due to the fact that my parents are divorced and are both remarried. My dad and step-mom are spending the week with her side of the family on the east coast. My mom and step-dad decided to have a small Thanksgiving at home with myself and my step-sister. Things started out fine, but they started to go down hill as the day progressed.

I guess it all started when I moved back home for the week for Thanksgiving Break. From the get-go it just seemed like my step-dad was not happy to see me at all. He's made it sort of evident that he doesn't want me staying here, like he's sick of me or something. Some moments he's fine, and than the next moment he says something that actually really hurts my feelings. I don't know if he's aware that he's doing it, but it hurts none the less.

On the other hand it seems like his daughter can do no wrong. He has no problem with her visiting it seems, and this hurts me more than you could imagine. I see him as my father, lord knows he has helped me and supported me in more ways than my actual father has. I just don't know what to do in order for him to see me as one of his own daughters.

I feel like I'm stuck somewhere in the middle. I don't see my dads side of the family that often since the divorce, my maternal grandparent's are dead, I don't see my step-moms side because they live on the east coast, and when I try to form a bond with my step-dad's side I feel like I'm shut out before I get a chance.

At times, I feel like I don't even have a family.

FIRST: If you've been tagged, you must write your answers in your own LJ and replace any question that you dislike with a new, original question.

SECOND: Tag eight sexy people. Don't refuse to do that like a pansy. Unless you really don't want to of course. And if you're not tagged and you want to do it, then do!

TAGGED: daibhidhbeag , fairegoddess , fieryredhead ,jainamsolo , taira602 , tangofic , valefleur , wordplay .


( Read mine here )

I have a bone to pick with the latest episode of Supernatural.


( 5x10 - Abandon All Hope )


On another note, all of this hype for New Moon is starting to get to me. This guy sums up my feelings nicely.

Stolen from daibhidhbeag. The first four people to post "You will be assimilated." will get asked five questions. At that point post the answers here or in your own journal, with whatever silliness you choose to include. Here are the question's I was asked. :)


1) What kind of job do you want to get after your graduate in the spring?

Well, I'm majoring in Film and Television with an emphasis in film editing. I know that in order to find a good job in my field I'm going to have to move to LA. That's not going to happen anytime soon because I simply do not have the money. For the time being I'm going to look for a receptionist/administrative job that will allow me the chance to save up money.

2) Are you coming to Dicken's?

I hope so! I really want to, it's just that the thing always fall's during the last few weeks of the semester when I'm burdened with finals. I'm going to try my hardest to make it work.

3) What's your favourite dance? Besides belly dance?

Hula and Flamenco. I'm more partial to the exotic flare I guess, lol.

4) What's your favourite Whedon series and why? How big a Whedon fan are you, really?

I am a HUGE Whedon fan. My favorite series is Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it got me hooked on Joss' writing style. The show has so many wonderful examples of great storytelling. The characters are amazing, and the story arcs kept me enthralled week after week.

5) What's one thing you've never done at faire and always wanted to?

Hmmm....that's a good question. I had always wanted to participate in a a fun gig, but I accomplished that this year! :)

I wanted to update everyone about what's going on in my world right now. School is still chugging along. I'm ready for a break! Luckily, we're getting one starting at the end of this week for Thanksgiving.

I think the fact that I'll be done with school next month is finally starting to hit me. Since early last month I've been checking the want adds on craigslist daily and emailing out my resume. While I enjoy working at Build A Bear there are a number of factors contributing to my timely dismissal. The only way I could receive a pay raise or health insurance through the company would be if I were promoted. This is something that could happen, but the fact is, I don't want to be a manger there. There is simply far too much drama associated with the position.

What I'm looking for is something more in the administrative/receptionist field. Something that will give me more hours, a higher pay, and health insurance. I have not heard back from any of the potential jobs that I've applied to, but I think this has to do with the fact that I specifiy I would not be able to start any position until December.

There's another thing I've come to realize. I always thought when the time came to graduate and move to LA to find work, I would be ready. Well, guess what? That time has come and I am far from ready. My whole life is in Northern California. I'm really not sure I'm ready to make the move down South. This is a big problem.

I know I'm not moving down there for a while though, due to the fact that I can't aford it. That's why I'm looking for an administrative job while I move back in with my mom to save money. There are a few options located in Northern California that I need to get my shit together for and apply at. These company's include Lucasfilm, Pixar, and Bayside Entertainment. I have no idea what my chances are with any of them, and I am scared shitless even considering the idea of applying.